"So Steve, What about online dating? How do I love more fully? Where will I find true romance? Why be in a relationship at all? Can anyone develop great communication skills? Here is a sample of other important questions that people like yourself frequently ask me."
In doing over 230 radio and television talk show interviews, I've often been asked the same questions about my background and the insights that I provide.
As of the spring of 2010, I've actually been doing research, writing books, and offering practical insights on relationships/communications for over 10 years now. That seems like a long time to me particularly when you compare it to my bachelor's degree in finance which only took me four years to attain. So I've been focusing in this specialized genre for quite a long time which gives me a certain degree of credibility in itself.
In all honesty, I'm just one man with an informed opinion about a few subjects that I feel passionate about. I fully realize that there are other highly-informative perspectives on my topics. Heck, I even follow other thought leaders in my field! So please take in my insights to add to what is already true for you and nothing more.
In the attempt to clear the air on what I provide, here is a quick sampling of what people commonly ask me:
So Steve, how would you describe what you do?
I am an author, speaker, and strategic life coach. By that I mean that I have "authored" 3 books about personal development, relationships, and communication. I "speak" my message to audiences, but not so much like a professional motivational speaker. Instead, I speak in a way that is similar to how a tour guide would share information and stories in an entertaining manner to vacationing tourists. (Note: I've worked as a professional tour director for over twelve years.) And by "strategic life coach" I mean that it's more my personal style to be a provider of knowledge, information, and ideas than it is to be a rah-rah cheerleader or a strict drill sergeant.
What's your purpose in doing all of this?
My main purpose in life is to help others get more out of their lives. My favorite metaphor is that life is like a staircase that takes a person from wherever they are now to where they truly want to go in life. I feel strongly compelled to use my unique insight to help people take a step or two up their own personal staircase of life. I absolutely know that I can move up anyone immediately by simply raising their awareness. But I also feel that there are many people out there who can move up several steps quickly as long as they are ready, willing and enthusiastic. I am committed to friendly respect for other people in their pursuit of more life.
What makes Steve Nakamoto unique?
In a nutshell, I have been blessed with a unique heritage, unique personal experiences, unique training, unique exposure, and unique gifts. I'll start off by saying that my Japanese-American heritage has made me extra sensitive to such things as racial prejudice and stereotyping on the negative side as well as honor, duty, and humility on the positive side. My unique experiences include over 300 tours, cruises, and vacations where I've meet a ton of people of different ages and backgrounds. Another unique experience has been my years in our family's florist shop where I learned the business of combining flowers, beauty, and emotion. My unique training comes from my 9 years of involvement in the Anthony Robbins organization, my 3 years with Dale Carnegie & Associates, and my 12 years as a professional international tour director. My unique exposure comes from being iVillage.com's "Mr. Answer Man" for 5 years where I receive 10-15 questions from women around the world about their challenges with the men in their love lives. And finally, I've always been blessed with an uncanny ability to understand strategy from my childhood to an adult (2-time city checker champion, high school basketball star, stock market student/trader, and successful business owner).
What inspired you to write books in the first place?
I had a love affair that didn't work out which ultimately sent me on a downward spiral. That experience was a cruise ship romance so I started going on lots of other cruises and Club Med vacations in order to recreate the same kind of romantic magic again in my life. Along the way, I noticed how people quickly become attracted to each other and consequently fall in love. At about the same time in my life, I was going to personal development seminars and learning about human behavior. So my first idea was to write a book along the lines of "Instant Romance: How to Fall In Love Fast." This eventually evolved into the metaphor of "Fishing For Love" which evolved into my first book, Men Are Like Fish. The other books that I've written are just a continuation of my journey into other related areas.
Who were your most influential personal mentors?
I definitely learned the most information about human behavior from motivational expert, Tony Robbins. He was the first teacher who really impacted me in my adult life. Over the years, I also studied the works of such inspirational leaders as Zig Ziglar, Brian Tracy, Jim Rohn, and Wayne Dyer. I also studied writing and book marketing from Mark Victor Hansen, Jack Canfield, Dan Poynter, and John Kremer. My important relationship mentors have been John Gray, Warren Farrell, and Barbara De Angelis. And finally, my most recent mentors have been business coaches David Neagle, Greg Mooers, Baeth Davis, Alexandria Brown, and Berny Dohrmann.
How will a woman benefit most from your information?
I specialize in giving an honest man's perspective on important relationship issues. Most women aren't able to find an accurate source for feedback like me. That's what I've been doing for iVillage.com during the last 5 years. Women have to realize the simple fact that men are the other half of the relationship equation. They can't really get things straight about men if they only consult with other women. And finding men who are well-versed in relationships is a challenging task. I suggest that women come to me as a direct source of information for figuring out the men in their love lives. They can then use what I've described to consult with their women friends on how to best implement my insights.
So Steve, how can a man benefit from what you offer?
Men can follow my own example of how I've been making the amazing journey from the unaware purely physical life to the more enlightened spiritual one. Men should also realize that I am exposed to more women than just about any other guy in America when it comes to relationship issues because of my "Mr. Answer Man" status. This added awareness makes me more sensitive to what women want and where men are largely blind. So for more enlightened men who are willing to put their egos aside, I will gladly help them on their own journeys to a more loving lifestyle and better relationships.
Who really doesn't need your advice?
For those men and women who just want to play the game of hanging out and hooking up, the "Men Are Like Fish" metaphor can give them all of the structure they'll need for figuring out their love life. However, my primary focus is on creating the perfect environment for attracting real love into a person's life. I feel that this is where the true value in relationships lies. The only people who don't need my advice are those who are unwilling to change their attitude about life or refuse to take responsibility for their actions in their love relationships.
Do you ever encounter criticism and complaints?
Occasionally I do. It's mostly from a misunderstanding of my intentions or from someone who takes personal offense too easily. As far as style goes, people have to realize that boldness is important for those who get paid to provide information. You wouldn't want to subscribe to someone's program that is wishy-washy, would you? And as far as my intentions go, I am only here to raise conscious awareness on key relationship issues. In order to do that, I have to take a stand on things that may not match another person's philosophy at their particular stage in life. But as long as people understand that I'm always aiming for "more life to all and less to none," they shouldn't have worry about the intentions of my advice.
I also operate by the philosophy that "when the student is ready, the teacher will appear." Because of this, I believe that criticism and complaints indicate that the person who is doing this just isn't ready for me to teach them. And that's perfectly okay. Everyone has the freedom of choice which means to accept or reject whatever anyone has to offer including me.
So Steve, what if I don't find any value in what you offer?
First of all, if you find yourself in this unfortunate situation rest assured that I will send you a refund for the items you purchased. But I'd also like some feedback on how it was that I couldn't reach you. I want to avoid this from happening in the future. (Note: I'm always looking to improve my products and services as well as my ability to relate better with my clients.) So if there is something that is not right about what I am doing, I'm 100% open to suggestions for improvement. Please allow me this chance and perhaps I can point you in the direction of someone else who you will resonate for fully with you. Again, my purpose is to help others live a better life. So if I'm not the right teacher for you at this time, perhaps I can find someone who is.